i don't like sucking hair
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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