Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I love having hate sex.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
