david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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