guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
