And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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