The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
