I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
