didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
