She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
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I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
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Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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