everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
