it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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