he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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