Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
