There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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