I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
now i know why i became what i already was.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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