Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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