Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
