I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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