Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
