so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Let's paint friendship bongs
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
