so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
