Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
is wine microwaveable?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
