Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
