Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
