Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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