I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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