so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
