i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
