After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
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