there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
