please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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