I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
