Well douche your snatch and let's go!
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
