I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
