That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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