I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
this will be a night to untag.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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