so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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