i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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