Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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