And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
