Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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