Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I came so hard my ears popped.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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