I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
