I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
