how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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