OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
