I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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