can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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