I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
