i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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