My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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