i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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