Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
