from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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