great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
