What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
